Sugarcane-Missy Higgins

...as someone who has made their share of mistakes...too many to list...too embarrassed to admit...i can see it in the eyes of the lying co-worker...i can hear it in the voice as the lie crosses the lips...i recognize it in the desperate way a friend back-peddles not wanting to admit a wrong-doing...i see it in their awkward body language...it is an uncomfortable mirror to gaze into...

...they say you can't bull-shit a bull-shitter...you can't con a con-man...with my darkness dangerously close to coming to light...i fully admit that i want to cut down anyone walking the paths i have walked...in both an effort to stop them from having to carry the weight i bear and in a misguided attempt to stop myself from making the same mistake again...

...knowing the signs to look for in someone else has kept me accountable...or i should say "is keeping me accountable"...i am in no way perfect...i am tempted by the bright lights daily...every time i don't bust into my savings account and buy that new steve madden tennis shoe or the latest burberry cologne, all the time knowing i could buy it if i wanted to...i think the thing i am saving for is worth for-going a pair of shoes or bottle of cologne...

...part of it is maturity...not to say that i have arrived, but i am not where i was before...is there any way of looking out for your fellow man, or attempting to stop your sister when he/she is heading right for danger without becoming the enemy?...i have certainly resented friends of mine for calling me on my shit...so i expect the scoffs when i do speak up...and "coming from a place of experience" doesn't guarantee you audience...

...had to confront two people today...one told a bold face lie...the other stretched the truth to gain from me...two sins i have committed and have paid dearly for...i guess i was more or less crying out to my past in the form of my present company...i may have over-stepped a boundary or two...but i took those steps because i saw myself reflected back at me...and i knew the path they were/are headed for...i am no missionary man...no saint...but i have learned more from sinners than saints and missionary men, i suppose it could be my lot to pass along what i have learned...run fast sugarcane...