Not Your Year-The Weepies

...looking at a worried scene...

...the weepies always comfort me in such a strange way...like The Cure i know i should be depressed while listening to their music, but i am strangely comforted...as if knowing someone else in the world is feeling this weight too...it's enough to know...

...this has been a rather terrible week for me...you could not see it from the outside...this is all structural damage i am referring to...no amount of coffee, no amount of crying...it's in the accepting of life's limitations and the putting to bed the dreams every night and waking back up with them in the morning...knowing i can't afford to feed them...knowing that starving and helpless look in their eyes is the same reflected back from my eyes...

...the day in the day out...the affording my daily life while pinching pennies to just barely eek out this existence which is a far cry from what i truly want...i need a light here in this dark little corner...i need some fresh air cause i'm running out of breath...

...to put such stock in another human being seems like such a mistake to me...life has taught me not to trust people...i can barely even trust myself...but i do feel short-changed...i feel like i have been denied that chapter...like howard jones said in "No One Is To Blame", "You can feel the punishment, but you can't commit the sin"...i have had my heart broken...i felt the abandon...i have felt all the darkness that love has to offer...where is my bright light...?

...i ramble on...i play the worlds smallest violin, and i play a siren song....perhaps, he will hear...