Inbetween Days-The Cure

...after getting off the phone from a marathon chat-fest with an old friend...well he's younger than i am, but you get my drift...i watched a little t.v. and surfed the net and enjoyed the silence and then tried to drift off to sleep...but the silence kept me up...

...i began to think back on my day and my mind wondered to tomorrow...the 27th is Brenda's...and Gwen's...and Jason's birthdays...the 29th is Dallas'...oh snap...New Year's Eve...which led me into some fantasy about finally being thin...for once in my life...oh the twisted roads we take in our minds sometimes...

...but that thought goaded me out of bed and provoked me greatly...yesterday i got so old...we are guaranteed nothing...not a tomorrow nor to remember our past...we only have today...what a liberating and invigorating thought...scary as that is...

...so take this weight off of me...literally and figuratively...the past is done and i cannot change a single thing...i remember sitting in my room, Gwen and I, talking about how we loved that Eddie Money song, "I Wanna Go Back"...but that would be too dire and hopeless...the future is full of chances for failure as well as successes, variables out of my control as well as devices of my own making...again, too harsh a spell to cast...today...right now...is all i have...if i want to envision a better tomorrow and have a few lovely stories to tell i need to live today the way i need to...

...so to Brenda, Gwen, Jason and Dallas too...happy birthday...today is your day, but i'm coming along for the ride, because it's my day too, dammit...